The day I lost my Grandpa

Me and my Grandparents 

March 11th 2013 is a day that I will never forget… I spent that day alongside my mom sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. All of whom hadn't been in the same house together, let alone town, in over 3 years. We spent the day talking to my grandpa and making small talk with each other. I spent most of my time sitting in between my mom and aunt while holding (and randomly squeezing) my grandpa's hand, I was hoping for some response from him but he lay there sleeping. My Grandma is so strong she still had her humor about her. This woman has a knack for making the most hilarious jokes at the MOST inappropriate times! (She seriously is SO funny).We needed laughter that day.

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My Mom is a nurse as well as my aunt and cousin. My Grandpa got the great opportunity to stay at his home with his family during the last days of his life. He was on hospice but he also had his entire family lending a hand to care for him. They had someone always taking of my Grandparents day and night. I think they are all amazing for that. They all went above and beyond so that my Grandpa was able to stay home and rest in the life he created for himself.

When people talk about how they would prefer to die, most would hope that they could die peacefully at home in there sleep. Well that is how my grandpa died that day. Peacefully in his sleep surrounded by his entire family. I was so happy for him because I knew that he was on his way to heaven. I pictured him meeting with his family that were already up in heaven waiting for him. I feel sorry for my Grandma. I can't imagine what it would feel like to lose our husband of over 50 years. I feel sorry for all the hearts that are heavy with grief because of his death.

My parents, Trent, and my Grandparents

I have been praying for my Grandma like crazy. Recently I heard a quote that said "when you think you have prayed enough about something, pray more" ...it describes me to a T lately. I know that if I put my faith in God one day I will understand the things that seem so hard to bare here on earth. Death is very hard to deal with. It is hard for the people that are left behind to pick up the pieces and for them try to get back in day to day life.

The one thing that is constant in life is change. Once you are settled into one stage of life you are on to the next. When someone close to you dies it makes you reevaluate what’s important in life. It makes you cherish the smallest things. Before I left my grandparents’ house that day it dawned on me. I had to take one of his sweatshirts... this is something that I had always done whenever I was at his house- I HAD to take them he always had worn them in and they were SO comfy(it became an inside joke between us) So, of course when I told my Grandma she knew I had to have one. In fact she gave one to each one of us. I have been wearing mine a lot. It still smells like his cologne.

I’m used to missing him because for the last 13 years we have lived two and a half hours apart but nothing compares to this. When someone dies it is so insane how final everything is. No take backs, no redo’s. I’ll carry him with me, in my heart ,where I hold all our memories.

I want to visit my family in Idaho more often. I want Terrance to know them and where I came from. So I made a promise to myself that I will spend more time there and I will make a million more memories with my Grandma. Until then I am going to soak up every second with my beautiful family. I am going to do things that I have been afraid of doing. I am going to laugh at myself more. I am going to shoot for the stars.Please remember to hold your loved ones close, say “I love you” often, and pray more we never know when our time is up.

 I wouldn't be able to make it through the loss of my Grandpa without my husband. He is my rock and he ALWAYS knows how to make me laugh. I am so thankful I have him and I can't wait to create a lifetime of memories with him that will bond us like my grandparents. I'm so grateful for my wedding pictures.. I love being able to show my family with them!

I love you Trent forever and always.

Tractor Rides

Trent comes from generations of farmers that farmed hay, potatoes, corn and cattle. His step Dad Fred has taught him the hard work ethic he has today. Fred comes from a long line of ranchers and cattleman. He works from sun up to sun down and can find a solution to any problem. Trent has been working alongside Fred for 12 years on Cloud 9 Farms. The life of a farmer is very rewarding. My most favorite thing is how close it brings a family. I love that we get to go visit Trent and bring him snacks. I can’t imagine him being gone all day and not spending some time with him at some point.

 Terrance has always known what it’s like to be inside a tractor. When I was 8 months pregnant with him I stopped working and stayed at home. This meant I got to spend my days prepping and getting all the last minute things for our tiny apartment.. it also meant I got to bring Trent his lunch to the tractor or swather every day. More often than not, I would spend the rest  of the day riding around the farm fields with Trent and my growing belly. Terrance would always start off the ride kicking as we bounced along the bumpy field and would eventually fall asleep and be still.  Towards the last few days of my pregnancy we would always joke that we were going to bounce him out… It didn’t work.

After Terrance joined us in the outside world we brought Daddy lunch together. He would sit in my lap in the co-pilot chair and we would ride along the same as before… he would kick and play and then eventually fall to sleep. As he gets older every time the tractor becomes more fun for him and Daddy. A few days ago was his first ride of the year and it meant more to him than ever before.

The second we turned down the field road and he saw the tractor rolling down he knew what it meant. He said “DADA!!!!” He knew his was about it go for a ride and was very excited. I got him out of the car and he instantly ran up and was pointing to it. He wasn't scared at all even though it’s so big and loud. (Keep in mind this kid is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of the vacuum, I can’t even have it out for him to see) He ran up to daddy and went for a ride while I went and did our grocery shopping for the week.

                I have a feeling this is going to be the best season yet ! 

Chicco Mom

I AM A CHICCO MOM TO THE CORE.

Stroller, Car Seat with base, Jogger

As a new mom when I set out to purchase a car seat I wanted one that had GREAT safety reviews, one that was easy to use and one that was light weight. I read different reviews and tried to talk to as many mommy’s that I could about theirs and my go-to Mom friends all had already used and LOVED Chicco’s Keyfit car seat. Not only does it have great safety reviews that can be found here but it’s simple to use AND light weight (only weighing 9 lbs.) I planned on staying home for the most part so we only wanted to purchase one car seat, that is why it needed to be easy to take in and out and to switch from car to car. All I can say is that car seat was a life saver to me and my husband as new parents. In fact, his twin, borrowed it for her baby and she said the same things! Easy to use, switch, and light weight.

Stroller

                We purchased the Cortina Keyfit 30 Travel System- that included; a stroller, a base and the Keyfit car seat. And I am so happy that we did. Whenever I would get outta the car I would unfold the stroller and pop the car seat in. Easy. Peasy. It made shopping with a new baby worry free. The seat is adjustable and the back fully reclines. There is also a large storage container of the bottom for storing bags! Now that Terrance has outgrown the car seat he rides like a big boy and loves it. Our stroller has been on tons of rides and still looks and acts brand spanking new! Reviews for the Cortina Keyfit travel system can be found here.

Jogger

                We live on a farm and me and Terrance love jogging through the large open fields. However our stroller wasn’t very farm friendly… we needed something that could be used for off roading and running. After shopping around for a few weeks I had my mind set. We HAD TO have The Chicco S3 All-Terrain 3-Wheel Stroller- front swivel wheel, puncture resistant tires, includes all weather inserts(fleece & plastic cover). It has a hand break for more control and it fits the Keyfit car seat! We have had it for about a year and a half and its DURABLE. We have put miles and miles on it and it’s still in great shape. If you want to know more about Chicco’s products more information can be found right here.

The S 3 All-Terrain Jogger

 Here are some pictures of Mr. Terrrance Jax enjoying his different ways of travel. 

T and Grammy! On Terrance's first birthday 

TJ about to fall asleep on a summer run 

TNT at Bridge of the Gods 

Trent pushing Terrance in the Travel System (with car seat in) 

Terrance Jax

On August 30^{th 2011} we went to the hospital to be induced to have our baby boy. We were both beyond excited. I was anxious, nervous and LARGE. It was in fact nearing the end of summer…AND we also live in a dessert in Eastern Washington.. I was over being pregnant. I got induced and I was laboring a few hours later, something was finally happening!

            Throughout my pregnancy I researched all natural routes of labor. I intended and hoped that I wouldn’t end getting an epidural. I didn’t want to get an epidural for so many reasons, one MAJOR one being the HUGE needle they wanted to STICK IN MY SPINE?!?!? (By the way I FEAR needles). Both my mom and mom-in-law had their babies naturally. (Mind you my Mom in law did have twins!). There are so many great benefits that come along with a natural birth. I had studied all my birthing books and put in TIME researching the ins and outs of the natural birth that I had worked hard planning for me and our new baby.

 Twelve hours in, I had forgotten everything I had researched and was crying in the tub at the hospital. I couldn’t remember why I didn’t just choose to be numb from the waist down. I was exhausted and was scared.  I was scared of letting my birthing team down (Trent, my mom and my mom-in-law) but at that point they were all tired and exhausted too. I finally changed my mind and did what most scared crying girls do, I called for my mom. I told her that I couldn’t go on and that I needed the epidural. I’m SURE they were all so HAPPY because after I got it I fell asleep for two hours. We all needed a break… Trent needed it the most. Before I had received the epidural he had been holding my hand for hours and hours (I didn’t even let him go to the bathroom…Ha-ha poor Daddy!)

After my much needed nap, I woke up and was ready to push. I (WE) pushed for about 2 hours. When I say we it’s because this was a team effort, Trent had a leg, Edie had a leg, and my mom held my head and we pushed. Terrance Jax Hilker came out weighing 8lbs 4 ounces !!! He joined our family and will forever be surrounded by love. Me, Trent and Terrance became a family that day and it will never be forgotten.

We were worn out!!! 

I am so happy that I had such a great birthing team. They each brought something unique to the table and I needed each one of them. I love them all so much and that experience will forever bond us. Thank you for supporting me on the best day of my life- The day I became Mama. 

Me, Trent, My mom and T 

Mimi and Terrance (My Mom-in-law)

My Happily Ever After

Trent Daddy.. July 14th 2012

The day we became forever 

I would like to introduce my husband. The wonderful man behind it all... Trent. He is the most caring person I have ever met. He has the sweetest soul and is quick to tell a joke. Right now, he is a cougar at Washington State University and he is getting a General Social Science bachelors with a concentration on Anthropology  and Business.  After he graduates he plans on attending Oregon State University to get his Master’s in Applied Anthropology.  He dreams of being an anthropologist. He wants to study different cultures around the world. He is going to do great things throughout his career. Currently he is working on his families hay/potato farm. He is a hard worker AND a smarty pants. You guys... He has midterms this week and he hardly studies and he gets A’s and B’s... He is a genius I’m telling you. I’m so proud of him for wanting to go further in school. How he is able to balance school, work, and family blows my mind. He does great in every aspect and he inspires me.

Family pictures May 2012

When I was a little girl I always hoped that I would marry my best friend and my dreams came true ( CHEESEY!!!.I am so cheesy when it comes to Trent. Get prepared!). He is my life partner in more ways than I would have ever imagined. I love being married to him and there are so many reasons that I could literally go on for DAYS but I won’t bore you with that, I will let you see for yourselves in our future blog posts. (That is if anyone besides my bestie is reading this ;) ).

Daddy and his new baby boy bonding

The first nap they ever took together

I fall in love with Trent more and more every day. He is such an amazing father. He goes above and beyond to do his part in parenting our son and I am so grateful for that. ( Fun Fact: When we were in the hospital after having Terrance I didn’t change his diaper for like 3 days. GO DADDY!!!) He always makes sure that me and Terrance have whatever we need to make us happy. Since we are both working we developed a habit of trading off mornings of who has to wake up with the baby... so every other day we get to sleep in. We both love it... We love making things work as a team.

One proud new Dada 

Our first family picture

They love their naps 

Trent and Terrance September 2011 

The kiss that sealed the deal....

Trent LOVES UFC. And when I say love I mean LOVE. He knows everything there is to know about it. I’m so serious. He could talk about it for days straight I bet. A couple months back we went to our first live UFC fight. It was way better seeing the action live… from a hundred seats back. He recently started training in a local MMA gym. It is his passion so I’m excited to see where it 

takes him. 

Trent comes from a big family.. He has three sisters, and three brothers. It is so awesome to have so many family members... Terrance has 7 cousins on Trent's side so far! All of our family gatherings are full of love and laughter.

Hilker/Olberding Family